Y: and my director just walked past and said, why do u look so awful

X: u do? have i terrorized u?

Y: naw, just reminded me what im missing

X: what. ur balls?

Y: u

X: WHAT GIVES A PERSON THE RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT ME IN A SEXUAL WAY?
Y: THEY DID?
X: YES. YOUR FRIEND.
Y: WHICH FRIEND
X: UGH. PAY MORE ATTENTION
Y: ...
X: I'M TAKING A VOW OF CELIBACY, STARTING NOW.