X: I'M NEVER GOING TO DO THIS AGAIN. I FEEL AWFUL

Y: DON'T WORRY. YOU CAN STOP- I DID LAST YEAR.

X: HACKING IS A BAD HABIT, IT'S NOT GLAMOROUS OR FUN.

X: WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH ALL THESE FEELINGS?

Y: GIVE THEM TO ME, PLEASE

X: U KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEM?

Y: YEP. IM GOING TO MAKE THEM INTO JAM AND PUT IT ON MY TOAST IN THE MORNING

X: NOTHING YOU SAY MAKES IT OKAY

Y: CAN IT BE THAT I DON'T MEAN IT?

X: YES YOU'RE RIGHT. LET'S HANG UP THEN

Y: OKAY

X: DON'T ACTUALLY, WTF

X: incidentally my mom took my phone, so you gotta call

Y: ok, i let the battery drain, so its not on yet. gimme a minute

Y: thats what happens when i leave my phone downstairs lol

Y: when my phone gets too low, it shows an empty battery instead of letting me use it right away

Y: pretty annoying

X: hahha

X: this is the iphone?

Y: sea

X: sounds like a girlfriend

X: lol

Y: haha
Y: yeah, if you dont keep her happy enough, she wont let you use her right away

X: THE BOYFRIEND IS GOING BYE-BYE!!!
Y: NO!
X: JUST KIDDING

X: I'VE BEEN SO DOWN LATELY. THE WHOLE WORLD SEEMS TO HAVE GONE SILENT.
Y: YOU NEED TO GIVE IT SOME TIME, BABY.
X: YES, I'VE DONE PLENTY OF DAMAGE HAVEN'T I?
Y: YOU CANNOT BE ANYONE BUT YOURSELF. WAIT PATIENTLY- YOU KNOW YOUR PACES ARE DIFFERENT
X: I'VE WANDERED INTO A SORT OF ENLIGHTENMENT
Y: I MISS YOU DARLING
X: ALL THOSE TIMES I WAS SHOWN LOVE, I WILL REMEMBER AND NOT FORGET TO CHERISH FOR ONE MOMENT LESS THAN IT'S DUE.

X: I GOT WORKED UP INTO A FRENZY TODAY. I FEEL MYSELF SCRAPING FOR THE PIECES, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Y: STOP TALKING TO HER, YOU'RE BEING SADO-MASOCHISTIC
X: SHE LOVES ME, AND I LOVE HER. AND IT'S HER BIRTHDAY ON MONDAY
Y: ...
X: I WANT TO SEND HER FLOWERS
Y: WHO EXACTLY ARE YOU DOING THIS FOR?
X: I AM IN BED, DROWNING IN THE SOUNDTRACK OF OUR LOVE...

X: SO OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID DUCHOVNY
Y: RAD POSTER BY ARRAN RIDLEY

X: SO I HAVE THIS RELATIONSHIP BOOK. IT'S REALLY GOOD. WE CALL IT THE BIBLE
Y: WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT YOU AND ME?
X: THE SECTION IS CALLED LASERLIKE INTENSITY. ALSO, A FAMOUS COUPLE LIKE US IS BUZZ ALDRIN AND NEIL ARMSTRONG, THE FIRST TWO MEN ON THE MOON.
Y: COOOL
X: IT TELL US TO SEEK MODERATION AND CALM, TO DIRECT OUR ENERGIES INTELLIGENTLY AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER AT A DEEP LEVEL
Y: PROMISING
X: YES, IT SAYS HERE WE ARE BEST WORK PARTNERS, WORST SIBLINGS

X: I TAKE IT BACK. I TOTALLY DON'T MISS IT
Y: YOU DON'T?
X: NO, IT WAS LAME. HA HA

X: YOU WERE QUITE EMOTIONAL TO ME, ONCE. ON A BRIDGE. LOOKING BACK, I'M SORRY I WASN'T MORE DEMONSTRATIVE.
Y: I HARDLY REMEMBER THOSE TIMES
X: I GUESS I WAS JUST BEING COOL.
Y: I'M OKAY NOW
X: BUT THINGS COULD BE A LOT DIFFERENT IF I HAD SHOWN YOU A BIT MORE SUPPORT.
Y: IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOES IT?
X: I JUST THINK WE USED TO MEAN SOMETHING TO EACH OTHER. AND NOW WE DON'T
Y: AS I SAID, I'M FINE NOW
X: I MISS WAITING FOR YOU

Y: and my director just walked past and said, why do u look so awful

X: u do? have i terrorized u?

Y: naw, just reminded me what im missing

X: what. ur balls?

Y: u

X: WHAT GIVES A PERSON THE RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT ME IN A SEXUAL WAY?
Y: THEY DID?
X: YES. YOUR FRIEND.
Y: WHICH FRIEND
X: UGH. PAY MORE ATTENTION
Y: ...
X: I'M TAKING A VOW OF CELIBACY, STARTING NOW.

X: I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!
Y: JUST A FEW MORE DAYS!
X: IT FEELS LIKE I AM IN AN EMPTY CITY, AND I AM SEARCHING FOR THIS ONE PERSON
Y: IT'S NOT AS IF YOU CAN'T ACTUALLY REACH THIS PERSON
X: WHAT

x: intimacy builds up over time and then it really blinds you. its okay. i just need to feel like ive done the right thing for everyone. but at the same time, the right thing always feels really stupid

y: you feel conflicted?

x: i dont know. i think ive done the right thing, but my heart is really broken

X: IS THERE IS NO NEED TO DISCUSS THINGS?
Y: OF COURSE THERE IS
X: THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

X: I THINK I SHOULD SEE SOMEONE ABOUT MY ABANDONMENT ISSUES. AND ANGER MANAGMENT.
Y: DON'T YOU ALSO HAVE SEPARATION ANXIETY?
X: YEAH, IT'S ALL SORTS OF FUCKED UP HERE. I'M A COMPLAINER. THESE ARE THINGS I REALLY HAVE TO FIGURE OUT
Y: SOMETIMES IT'S NOT ENOUGH TO BE SELF-SATISFIED. OTHER PEOPLE CAN REALLY SCRAMBLE IT UP FOR YOU
X: YES, I AM DEFINITELY FEELING SCRAMBLED. AND SEEING AS I HAVE NO MONEY IN THE NEXT WEEK, I'LL BE EATING SCRAMBLED EGGS EVERY DAY.

X: WHAT YOU WEARING?
Y: PUN GOT ME THESE TSUMORI CHISATO LEGGINGS. I'M WEARING THE RY U NO CALL TSHIRT AND CUT OFF JEAN SHORTS. IS THAT TOO TWEE?
X: YOU'LL LOOK AMAZING WHATEVER YOU WEAR

Y: YEAH BUT I DON'T WANNA LOOK DUMB. DUMB AND CUTE
X: JUST CUTE
Y: NO I WANNA LOOK BAD. LOL
X: HAHA

X: SERIOUSLY, FML.
Y: SOUR GIRL. WHAT'S WRONG?
X: RYAN JUST SAID TO ME ON FACEBOOK, MAYBE TODAY JESUS CAN BE YOUR BOYFRIEND.
Y: HAHA SUCKS

ARI: C'MON I WAS JUST TRYING TO CHEER YOU UP LLOYD!
LLOYD: THERE IS NO CHEERING ME UP, ARI. MY LIFE IS OVER!
ARI: YOUR LIFE IS NOT OVER!
LLOYD: YES, IT IS. WITHOUT TOM, MY LIFE IS EMPTY!
ARI: LLOYD..
LLOYD: AN EMPTY VASE!!
ARI: ..WHY A VASE?
LLOYD: CAUSE TOM WAS A FLOWER.
ARI: ...
LLOYD: HE WAS ARI! HE WAS A ROSE! A BRIGHT, RED ROSE IN THE MASSIVE OIL SPILL OF LIFE. AND WITHOUT HIM, EVERYTHING IS JUST...GOOKY.
ARI: LOL

X: I WENT SHOPPING TODAY AND DIDN'T FIND ANYTHING GOOD. IT'S THE MOST DEPRESSING THING IN THE WORLD.
Y: YEAH. ALL THOSE CLOTHES, AND NOTHING SPEAKS TO YOU. WHAT A BUMMER.
X: I GUESS EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS LIKE THAT. LIKE FINDING SOMEONE TO LOVE .
Y: LOVE IS SPECIAL. IT'S THE SWEATER YOU WEREN'T SURE ABOUT, BUT CAN'T SEEM TO FORGET. YOU'LL GO BACK AND GET IT.

X: I DON'T CARE, I'LL TELL ANYONE WHO'LL LISTEN!!!
Y: DUDE. WHAT IS IT?
X: ....YAYYYYY <3!!!!!!!
Y: JEEZUS. PLEASE STFU, NAO.

X: K SO, LIKE WHAT SHOULD I GET FROM THE SUPERMARKET?
Y: CAN'T YOU DECIDE ON YOUR OWN?
X: NO WAY. IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME OLD BORING SHIT.
Y: I THINK YOU SHOULD ASK EVERYONE ELSE.
X: YEAH I DID. NO ONE CARES. JUST TELL ME SOOOMMMMETHINNNGGGG
Y: YOGURT COVERED BANANA CHIPS
X: O M G THAT'S SOOOO GOODDDD

X: I THINK I HAVE SEPARATION ANXIETIES. I CAN'T HANDLE SAYING GOODBYES- FOR ABOUT FIVE MINUTES DURING AND AFTERWARDS I ALWAYS FEEL SUPER INTENSE
Y: YOU JUST GOTTA MAKE IT SHORT AND SWEET AND NOT THINK ABOUT IT.
X: BUT DON'T YOU CARE!

X: BAT BOY IN SPRING

X:

X: YOU AND I
Y: ARE GOING TO MAKE THE BEST SMOOTHIES EVER
X: TOGETHER

X: I WANT TO GO PLACES WITH YOU
Y: REALLY? WHERE WOULD WE TRAVEL TO?
X: ANYWHERE. I COULD GO ANYWHERE WITH YOU. WE COULD BE HAPPY!
Y: YOU SHOULD BE SPECIFIC.
X: LET'S GO OUT
Y: BUT WHEN YOU ARE OFF YOUR FACE IT KIND OF SUCKS

X: DUDE, WATCHMEN? LIKE, A 4.5.
Y: WHY? WAIT I KNOW- YOUR MIND HYPED IT UP
X: THE PATHETIC SOUNDTRACK MADE ME CRINGE SO BAD. A COUPLE OF POINTS FOR RORSCHACH, CASTING AND OBVS CINEMATOGRAPHY
Y: HARSH!
X: OMG NOT EVEN. BUT WHY WOULD I CRY? I AM STRONG

X: I KEEP DREAMING OF MIRU8691.
Y: I WANT TO GO BACK TO LA, TOO.
X: I WOULD MOVE TO BEVERLY HILLS TO EAT THERE EVERY DAY

KITCHEN PARTIES

X: R&B VS. HIP HOP
Y: OH GIRL
X:

X: YAY
Y: FUCK YEAHH

A TRIBUTE

X: I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, AND I THINK I'M OVER IT
Y: SO QUICKLY? I THINK IT'S A NEW RECORD
X: YEAH. CRUSHING MAKES ME FEEL WRETCHED. BETTER TO GET IT OVER WITH THEN LEAVE IT TO THE OTHER PERSON
Y: OKAY
X: YOU SHOULDN'T SOUND SO CONCERNED!

X: HEIDI SAYS I'VE CHANGED ALOT IN THE LAST YEAR. SHE SAYS I'M A LOT HAPPIER. I FEEL IT, TOO. WE THINK IT COULD BE THAT THE CRYSTALS ARE WORKING.
Y: MUST BE THAT MERKABA STAR PENDANT YOU BOUGHT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.
X: THE AMETHYST CHIPPED A LITTLE SINCE I GOT IT. THE LAST BROKEN CRYSTAL I HAD WAS AN AMETHYST, TOO. SOMETHING OR SOMEONE WANTS TO HURT ME AND IT KEEPS TAKING THE HITS. I WISH THEY'D STOP. I'M GETTING ATTACHED TO IT.

X: TODAY I RAN INTO GONZO ON THE STREET AND HE SAID I LOOKED LIKE A POWERPUFF GIRL
Y: WHY? WHAT WERE YOU WEARING LOL
X: NO IDEA. RIPPED JEANS AND A RACE CAR TSHIRT. AND THEN HE LOOKED CLOSER AND SAID, ARE YOU IN LOVE OR SOMETHING? I WAS LIKE HUH? ? ? WHAT? AM I.
Y: YOU ARE? OMG
X: TELL ME WHO IT IS. RIGHT NOW

X: CHECK IT OUT

Y: WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? YOU JUST HUNG UP!
X: I PASSED OUT FROM A SENSE OF GLORY. THERE'S NOTHING BETTER THAN PLAYING AN AWESOME SHOW AND ACTUALLY MAKING GOOD FRIENDS.

X: WOW. TODAY WAS THE BEST DAY IN FOREVER! I JUST GOT HOME.

<3s DIEEE MF

X: I DON'T KNOW WHY!!!!
Y: I DO. WTF IS THAT SAVES THE DAY IN THE BACKGROUND?!
X: I'M NOT THE PRETEND IT'S-NOT-HAPPENING SLASHER MOVIE TYPE. HEIDI WENT TO BRICK LANE AND NOW I'M AT HOME ALONE AND I FEEL SO TEEN AGED. NEW SAVES THE DAY IS KIND OF NICE
Y: WHAT NO. IT SUCKS!
X: WHY DO I LOVE IT

X: I CAN'T SLEEP.
Y: (SLEEPING SNORE)
X: TODAY REALLY SUCKED, IN HINDSIGHT.

X: I JUST TOOK A TAXI HOME
Y: HAPPY FRIDAY 13TH AND HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.
X: THANKS.
Y: SO HOW DID THE PARTY GO?
X: YEAH, I DON'T KNOW. I REALIZED A FEW THINGS: 1) I LIKE RUT SO MUCH IT'S ALMOST A CRUSH 2) NO DIGGITY IS STILL AN AMAZING SONG AFTER A MILLION TIMES 3) I HATE GETTING HOME FROM MANOR HOUSE
Y: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BIKE?
X: IT GOT STOLEN A WHILE BACK. I DON'T LIKE TO CYCLE ALONE ANYWAY. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HAVING SOMEONE AND BEING SINGLE IS EITHER HAVING A TRAVELLING BUDDY OR PAYING A RIDE HOME.

X: I WENT TO THIS ICA THING LAST NIGHT AND WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DISCUSSION BETWEEN INTELLECTUALS ABOUT THE FUTURE OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS THROUGH EXAMINING OUR INCREASED SELF-SUFFICIENCY BECAME A SELF HELP SECTION FIGHT CLUB SUPPORT GROUP THING. I WAS SO PISSED I PAID TO GO TO SOMETHING LIKE THAT
Y: WHO WAS THERE?
X: SOME WRITERS AND AND JOURNALISTS BASICALLY TRYING TO SELL THEIR SHIT TO PEOPLE. AND BY PEOPLE I MEAN SAD SINGLES AND CONFUSED SOCIOPATHS.
Y: DAMN. AND YOU WERE ONE OF THEM
X: OMG STFU.

PLANS

X: I'M PLAYING A SHOW ON VALENTINE'S DAY. THAT'S LOW, RIGHT?
Y: EVERYONE ELSE IS PLAYING A SHOW. WHY IS THAT A GOOD IDEA?
X: THE PROMOTER WAS ASKING ME IF I WAS STILL UP FOR IT, I WAS LIKE, UH.. I GUESS.
Y: RIGHT? LESS PLAYING MUSIC MORE MAKING OUT
X: THEN HE SAID, OH IF YOU DO GET SOMEONE, JUST BRING THEM TO THE SHOW... I SO DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT THAT WAY AT ALL.
Y: ♪ SO GET YOUR FRIENDS.. AND I'LL GET MY FRIENDS ♪ AND WE CAN BE FRIENDS... DO THIS EVERY WEEKEND ♪
X: BEING IN A BAND MAKES ME FEEL LIKE CRAP

X: FUCK I TOTALLY MISSED ADRIAN TOMINE @ THE ICA ON THE 3RD!
Y: FUCK!
X: THERE WAS THIS COMIC THAT HE DID THAT WAS SO AMAZING, THIS GUY GOES TO A SHOW AND GETS YELLED AT AND HE HOLDS IT IN TILL HE GETS INTO BED THAT NIGHT AND FINALLY SCREAMS WELL I CAME HERE TO KICK SOME ASS!!
Y: THE WEEZER POSTER'S MY FAVORITE THOUGH
X: DID I EVER TELL YOU THAT MY FRIEND MELISSA AND I GOT PAT THIS MUSICAL MUPPET BABIES BOOK FOR THE ENLIGHTENMENT TOUR IN 2004, AND THE DRUMMER IN THE BOOK WAS THIS SHY BOY NAMED CHARLIE. THEN ON LOVELINE THE NEXT MONTH, PAT WENT, "JENN JUST HAD THE BABY, WE NAMED HIM CHARLIE." SO DOES THAT MAKE US LIKE, HIS GODPARENTS OR SOMETHING?

X: HEY, SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT!
Y: OH YEAH, WHATEVER BANA, IT'S COOL. I GOT HOME OKAY. PASSING OUT THOUGH. LIKE ALL DAY.
X: HA
Y: YOU GOT SO FUNNY AT THAT PARTY WHERE ALL THAT CAKE WAS- ALL THIS CAKE, JUST LAYING AROUND, AND YOU KEPT TALKING ABOUT YOUR BIKE, LIKE ALL NIGHT LONG. THEN YOUR HAT, YOU WENT ALL INTO DETAIL ABOUT THAT. DID YOU GET THE NOTE I LEFT?
X: NO?
Y: WELL IT WAS REALLY GREAT. I MEAN WHEN I WENT BACK HOME FOR A FEW DAYS I TOTALLY FORGOT I EVEN WROTE IT AND THEN IT CAME BACK TO ME. I'M CRAZY MISSING YOU, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING, SEEING JEB AND ROSICK?
X: YEAH ROSICK'S COMING OVER RIGHT NOW
Y: BORRING.. JEALLOUS!